Deer Roping

[wildcard]

Got this in an e-mail and had to share it.



I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn
for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure
was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder
and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will
sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of
the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it
and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it
home.

I filled the cattle feeder, then hid down at the end with my rope. The
cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not
having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up - 3 of them. I
picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder and
threw my rope.

The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my
waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was
mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it
took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope, and then received
an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just
stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a
deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that
weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer - no
chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet
and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer
on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only
upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my
feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize
this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my
head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to
get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it
would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love
at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I
would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head
and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum
by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across
the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a
small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation
we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed
to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder in a little trap I
had set before hand - kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there
and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite?

They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would
bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that
rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is
not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then
let go.

A deer bites you and shakes its head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD
and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective.

It seemed like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it
was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may
be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing
the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled
that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back
feet and strike right about head and shoulder level and their hooves
are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal - like
a horse - strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily,
the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive
move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you
can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer so, obviously, such trickery would
not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always
been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there
is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be
so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times
as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of
the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave.
I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they
do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are
laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I
know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope... to sort
of even the odds!

[basketcase0302]

while you are
laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I needed a good laugh, good one!

[r3vo_3vom]

i read this in the wrong place. im sitting at the Albertsons Library at Boise State and have been trying to contain myself unsuccessfully at times.

[cdeal28078]

That is a better story than the one a crane operator told me about his brother in-law putting on the new electric coller they had bought for their coon dogs.
Clint

[Racer Z]

The moral of the story is: This is why cattle where domesticated and deer weren't.

[Mancar1]

That story gave me a good belly laugh.

[jimmy828]

storys like that is what makes the world go around.Good laugh!

[OldBlue67]

That is HILARIOUS! I don't doubt it's true either, seems like just the kind of ridiculous thing a cowboy would try LOL