Humorous Shop Moments

[hdpusher]

I used to work with a guy who was always working on his car to get better gas millage. He would religiously check his millage with every tank of gas and report his findings to us at work throughout the week.
Now hear is where it got fun. After he would make some earth shattering improvement for gas millage we would siphon small amounts of his gas from his car throughout the week. He wouldn’t notice a little at a time right. At the end of the week he would check his millage and it was down worse than before. Totally oblivious to what happened he would set everything back to his “original baseline setting”. Now we never took his gas we just kept it in the can. So after he would make another improvement we would just gradually pour the gas back into the car. Now his millage would go through the roof and he was so proud of himself he couldnt help but brag.
So then we would go back and forth one time siphoning fuel out of his car and returning the next. We did it for almost two years before someone cracked and told him what we had done. Lets just say we all have one coming.

That was an episode of Gomer Pyle USMC about a half-century ago. I think he had a '58 Belvedere.

Get out... How did they come up with the idea 30 years before we did. Ive never watched Gomer Pyle but I may try to watch for that episode and see if they got it right.

[Racer Z]

That was an episode of Gomer Pyle USMC about a half-century ago. I think he had a '58 Belvedere.

Get out... How did they come up with the idea 30 years before we did. Ive never watched Gomer Pyle but I may try to watch for that episode and see if they got it right.

I don't recall the Gomer Pyle episode, but I did see it in a movie once. I think in the late 60's. A father and son team played practical jokes on people including a neighbor with a brand new VW Bug. Removed or added gas and the guy would brag or complain and spend too much time a the dealer trying to find the answer.

[mrollings53]

When I was in the Army (American, for those that need to ask), I was trained in hydraulics for the purpose of working on tanks. They had shown us films of things that could happen if you are a total moron. Split rims where the ring flew out and broke a 4x4; an oxygen bottle that got it's neck busted off and flew across the room and through a brick wall... Scary stuff!

Well, one day I was moving some big tanks of compressed something through the repair bay. The protective valve cover came off and the tank made a loud clank as it smashed the concrete floor. Twenty guys dove into the grease pits including me. I was still holding the threaded cover. And this tank was now making a hissing noise.

We were all so scared we couldn't even think. Some of us braved a peek over the edge of our concrete shelter. There was this tank just laying there, hissing. We just knew it was getting ready to take off. Then my Sergent sauntered over, stood next to the tank and turned to look at us. After making sure all us cowards were watching, he slowly bent over and turned the valve. The tank stopped hissing.

We see the same things like that in the Marines too. Except I worked on F/A-18's. Our mishaps involved getting sucked into intakes and idiots filling a tire at 3000 psi instead of 300. Got to watch videos of wheel assemblies exploding and tearing apart the dummies they had setup for demonstration purposes. Did get to see one guy who almost had his face ripped off when a 3000 psi hot pressure washer broke and tore a big gash across the side of his face.

[70 ranger]

One of the guy's at work years ago was getting ready to go on vacation. He spent his last week at work wiring his camper lights to his truck. He had bad grounds and it took him forever. We were all laughing at him all week, so the last day we wired his left turn indicator to his horn! He left for a week and came back so pissed off saying that his horn sounded every time he turned left.(honk...honk...honk) We all got a chuckle until we saw him outside pulling his steering column at coffee time.He figured he had a short in the column! He put it all back together and tried it again, when it still happened he looked like he was going suicidal! We all stood way back and told him what it was. That was twenty years ago and we still ask him how the wiring is on his camper whenever we go camping. (it was a chebbie)

[James72]

My favorite was when I asked an apprentice to drain the oil from a Cat 980 transmission
the drain plug has a 3/4" square hole in it and can be tough to break loose
after a few miniutes I heard a 3/4" impact rattle real quick, I knew what was happening and hoped he had enough buckets
he did not and we had a lake, he had a mouth full and took a bath in about 100 liters of oil haha
the plug is almost 2" wide and this one didn't have the "enviro plug"

[Racer Z]

An oil bath... That reminds me of one of my most embarrassing shop moments...

When I was in the Army, oh so many decades ago, I was trained to work on tanks, the hydraulics that make the turret spin around. One day a 9-inch came (I can't remember it's proper name now) and nobody was trained to work on it, so they sent me in.

side note: A 9-inch is like a mortar except much bigger. It's on tracks and has a turret with a extremely long gun barrel. The gun barrel is 9 inches ID. It's used to hit targets that are far away and sometimes over a mountain.

I took apart and repaired some part of the hydraulic system, probably replaced a seal in ram. I put it back together and filled it up with cherry juice. "Cherry Juice" is what we called hydraulic fluid. In a pinch we could use ATF.

Then I had to power up the system to test it. It powered up and pressurized, and cherry juice started spraying out a plug I had forgot to put back in. There is a 5 second delay on this particular system for the shut down cycle, so it was spraying for an extra 5 seconds past my reaction time.

The "spray" was pointed directly at me. Being a very small space with solid steel sides, it could deflect easily. The spray bounced off the ceiling and at me. It reflected off the floor and up at me. And off of each wall and back at me. I got it from all sides, literally, for about 8 seconds.

I replaced the plug and left. The only way out was through the shop, and that was climbing through a window. As I walked through the platoon of loafers, I simply said, "I'm going to take a shower now." Of course everybody was laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, I was soaked from head to foot in pink cherry juice. Even my underwear was bright pink.

[RoosterTail]

ok I must declare it work but very stupid I was taking off a water pump from my 89 mercury grand marquis now the water pump is right in front of the timing cover on this car, well went to take it off and two blots broke so I still there for a hour trying to figure how to get them out did not have not taps or drill , But I did have a grinder so I went to cut out the old water pump might looks funny as heck but it work with out no problems

[1972hiboy]

When I was working for a lumber company right after high school I was working on a 1942 ROSS lumber carrier ( straddle buggy) that would pick up the units of lumber and roll them around. I had just serviced the hydrostatic transmission and replaced some inline fluid filters, well stupid me forgot to open the return side valve back to the hydraulic tank. went to start it and it ran for a couple of seconds before it spit the o-ring in the primary filter and just DRENCHED the older grumpy mechanic working there. All I heard was him screaming to turn it off while he ran out from the side of this machine covered in red. Needless to say I didnt come down from the cab of this thing until he had left to go home and change.........

[19agin]

I was getting ready to reply to the improper use of the word retard, but I see it has been done. Thanks.
That word has its place as in when talking about timing. Not when talking about people.

So would it be okay to say someone's timing is off?? LOL just kidding. Couldn't resist.