Humorous Shop Moments

[flyboy71]

Me and a buddy were discussing some shop moments. One that came to mind thats kinda funny or maybe not is loosening rusty nuts where you put that 1/2 drive socket wrench on it and slip the 3/4" piece of 4 foot long pipe over it for leverage. We fit it into a few possible scenarios:

1) You hear 'creak.....creak.....creeeeeeeakkkk' as the nut nicely spins off.
2) You hear 'creak.....creak.....creak.....BANG!' as the nut breaks loose.
3) You hear 'BANG' as either the nut or the socket breaks.

Sound familar?

[fordman]

or the socket comes off and your hand gets mashed. but that hasnt happened to me in a long time.

[flyboy2610]

Back during the winter of 2004, while I was driving a tractor trailer, I had to have the alternator belt replaced on a 2000 Freightliner FLD. I took it down to the local truck stop, which had a shop. The alternator on that truck was mounted on a stand which came up from the right side frame rail, and the alternator was mounted on the engine side of that stand. The stand had a hole drilled through it, and a nut welded to the stand. A bolt went through the alternator into that nut.
It seemed to be taking the mechanic an awfully long time to be replacing that belt, so I wandered over there to see how he was doing. He had his socket on the bolt, withe the open end of the socket facing the frame rail. He had a short pipe over the end of the socket handle and was pulling down on that pipe as hard as he could. I instantly knew what the problem was.
I asked him "How's it going?" He said "I can't get this @#$%& bolt loose!!"
I watched him for a few more seconds and then said quietly "You're going the wrong way."
"No I'm NOT! Haven't you ever heard of "righty tighty lefty loosey?!"
I said "Yeah. But that only works if you're facing the fastener. You're going the wrong way. Just humor me for a second and try going the other way."
He said "OK, but it won't work." He reached up, flipped the lever on the socket, and gave a push upwards on the cheater pipe.
The bolt broke loose instantly.
His response: "Well, who in the *&%+ put a left handed thread bolt on this thing?!"
I just shook my head and walked away. We have a community college system in southeast Nebraska which has a nationally recognized diesel technician training program that gives a first class education.
This guy must have gone somewhere else.

[1971ford]

I just realized that you two flyboy's are different flyboy's
Never seen you guys in the same thread before and thought you were the same person

[sargentrs]

Got my 16 yr old daughter her 1st car, a '79 mustang. 200ci i6/automatic. She drove it for a about year when a rod started knocking. I was in the process of building my garage, attached to the house. I had the back wall up, the outside wall up, and the front wall up. 2 bay garage, (2) 8' door openings, post in the middle, doubled 2x10 headers, etc. Got a new motor from a yard and was in the process of swapping engines but didn't have a engine hoist. I figured, what the heck, surely those door headers will hold a few hundred pounds. I hung a come-a-long and pushed the car up under it, rear in the garage, front sticking out. Got my son to help me. Jacked the engine up but lacked about an inch clearing the radiator support so I told my son to push the car backwards while I picked up on the tranny to clear it. He started pushing backwards, dragging the engine back with the car, I pulled up on the tailstock and when it cleared the radiator support the engine and tranny swung free. When it reached the apex of the arc it kept going........taking the front wall of the garage with it! I was left with about 500 lbs of engine/tranny and a pile of lumber in my driveway. Had to remove the tranny, head, etc to get it all light enough where the two of us could pick it up and move it. Fixed the car and subbed out the garage after that.

[Mancar1]

Been there done something like that. Now I have a well reinforced header and side legs in my shop opening for motor pulling. Picked up the winch at a garage sale for $5. Has a 1,000 lb lift cap. Darn near ripped my back pocket off getting my wallut out for that one.

[SteveC]

i had a good one not long ago. i had to pull some exhaust and had to put to to non impact wobblies with a 15mm socket and several extensions to get to the nuts.

so it went 6 inch extension wobblie 6 inch extension wobblie and then the socket. Any who i had my 1/2 high torq impact on the extension and figured its either gonna break the nut loose or break the stud. So i give it FULL throttle and bam the nut broke loose and seeing as how the wobblie i put on the socket side was loose it spun the socket at a ultra high velocity straight through the tiny gap below the place i was working and straight between my legs. Judging from the bruise i had that thing must have reached mach 1 when it flew out of there.

i don't use that impact much any more i have cordless impacts that work great for every thing else. and yeah i still use those weird setups to get in weird places just not with my air impact .

[Racer Z]

Yeah, I've used cheater bars and busted knuckles and the like.

I was working at a tire store installing tires. A new kid got hired, the kind that has "retard" written all over him. A few days later a guy brought his old car in, something from the early sixties, back when they used left-handed thread on on side. That would be the lugs. I heard the "retard" pounding away with the impact gun, didn't think too much of it as I did my car. Pretty soon the owner of the old car started screaming and running around in circles. "He's busting all my lugs! He's busting all my lugs!"

I ran over to see what the fuss was all about and sure enough, three lug were snapped on the same hub. The "retard" looked at me and said, "These sure are on hard." as he started to hammer away on the forth lug.

I refrained from calling him insulting names, and tried to explain that they were left-handed threads. The owner started to calm down when he realized I understood. But I never did get that "retard" to understand.
"Why would I want to tighten it to get it off?" was all he could say.

I told him to go finish my car and I would finish this one. Of course I had to run for new lugs and replace the broken ones.

[BobbyFord]

Here's a good one:
My cousin (whom is more like my brother) and I worked at a shop together in adjoining stalls. One day a customer had towed in some car that was sitting in a field for years and my cousin got it to evaluate and get running.
The entire car was infested with Black Widows. We had a way of dealing with the spiders. We'd put the car on the lift, get it in the air and then, with a can of starting fluid, brakecleaner and a Bic lighter, systematically go around the car and eliminate the Widows by means of improvised flamethrower. Not only does the flamethrower toast all of the webs, it also smokes the legs off of the Widows.
The spiders especially like to build webs in the wheel and brake drum area. My cousin had the car in the air and was going around with the flamethrower toasting the Widdages when he stopped to concentrate on and inspect the right rear wheel well.
He had already removed the wheel and was CAUTIOUSLY inspecting the area, with his head in the wheel well. I snuck up behind him and tickled his ear with my index finger. He come flying out of that wheel well, thinking one of the Widows was on him , dancing and flailing. If I'd had a camera I'd be $10,000 richer.
Classic

[Racer Z]

When I was in the Army (American, for those that need to ask), I was trained in hydraulics for the purpose of working on tanks. They had shown us films of things that could happen if you are a total moron. Split rims where the ring flew out and broke a 4x4; an oxygen bottle that got it's neck busted off and flew across the room and through a brick wall... Scary stuff!

Well, one day I was moving some big tanks of compressed something through the repair bay. The protective valve cover came off and the tank made a loud clank as it smashed the concrete floor. Twenty guys dove into the grease pits including me. I was still holding the threaded cover. And this tank was now making a hissing noise.

We were all so scared we couldn't even think. Some of us braved a peek over the edge of our concrete shelter. There was this tank just laying there, hissing. We just knew it was getting ready to take off. Then my Sergent sauntered over, stood next to the tank and turned to look at us. After making sure all us cowards were watching, he slowly bent over and turned the valve. The tank stopped hissing.

[71highboy]

Yeah, I've used cheater bars and busted knuckles and the like.

I was working at a tire store installing tires. A new kid got hired, the kind that has "retard" written all over him. A few days later a guy brought his old car in, something from the early sixties, back when they used left-handed thread on on side. That would be the lugs. I heard the "retard" pounding away with the impact gun, didn't think too much of it as I did my car. Pretty soon the owner of the old car started screaming and running around in circles. "He's busting all my lugs! He's busting all my lugs!"

I ran over to see what the fuss was all about and sure enough, three lug were snapped on the same hub. The "retard" looked at me and said, "These sure are on hard." as he started to hammer away on the forth lug.

I refrained from calling him insulting names, and tried to explain that they were left-handed threads. The owner started to calm down when he realized I understood. But I never did get that "retard" to understand.
"Why would I want to tighten it to get it off?" was all he could say.

I told him to go finish my car and I would finish this one. Of course I had to run for new lugs and replace the broken ones.

not meaning to cause any crap here but the word retard is not something to be made fun of i have a couple of slow relatives and i think the would take offense to it.

[Racer Z]

A new kid got hired, the kind that has "retard" written all over him.

not meaning to cause any crap here but the word retard is not something to be made fun of i have a couple of slow relatives and i think the would take offense to it.

He probably wasn't retarded, but he sure was slow thinking. Thirty years ago, when this took place, that's how we thought and talked. I agree it's not the most "polite" talk and I don't talk that way now. I probably could have used a different word, but I'm not sure what that word would be.

My girlfriend teaches children with autism, severe autism. Most of her kids have other problems including retardation. From time to time I am around her kids at school, I know how difficult it can be.

[Mancar1]

I was getting ready to reply to the improper use of the word retard, but I see it has been done. Thanks.
That word has its place as in when talking about timing. Not when talking about people.

[hdpusher]

I used to work with a guy who was always working on his car to get better gas millage. He would religiously check his millage with every tank of gas and report his findings to us at work throughout the week.
Now hear is where it got fun. After he would make some earth shattering improvement for gas millage we would siphon small amounts of his gas from his car throughout the week. He wouldn’t notice a little at a time right. At the end of the week he would check his millage and it was down worse than before. Totally oblivious to what happened he would set everything back to his “original baseline setting”. Now we never took his gas we just kept it in the can. So after he would make another improvement we would just gradually pour the gas back into the car. Now his millage would go through the roof and he was so proud of himself he couldnt help but brag.
So then we would go back and forth one time siphoning fuel out of his car and returning the next. We did it for almost two years before someone cracked and told him what we had done. Lets just say we all have one coming.

[marxtoys]

I used to work with a guy who was always working on his car to get better gas millage. He would religiously check his millage with every tank of gas and report his findings to us at work throughout the week.
Now hear is where it got fun. After he would make some earth shattering improvement for gas millage we would siphon small amounts of his gas from his car throughout the week. He wouldn’t notice a little at a time right. At the end of the week he would check his millage and it was down worse than before. Totally oblivious to what happened he would set everything back to his “original baseline setting”. Now we never took his gas we just kept it in the can. So after he would make another improvement we would just gradually pour the gas back into the car. Now his millage would go through the roof and he was so proud of himself he couldnt help but brag.
So then we would go back and forth one time siphoning fuel out of his car and returning the next. We did it for almost two years before someone cracked and told him what we had done. Lets just say we all have one coming.

That was an episode of Gomer Pyle USMC about a half-century ago. I think he had a '58 Belvedere.


Anyhow, I used to work for a character who was somewhat less than brilliant....

An old Dodge Dart was in the shop and Bud had #1 plug out trying to find TDC with a screwdriver.... tink tink tink... turn the motor... tink tink... turn some more... tink tink.. screwdriver stops same spot about 3" down....

Pull more plugs... tink tink tink tink... he's really freaking out now because the screwdriver stops in the same spot no matter which cylinder no matter where the engine is turned......

"Hey look at this!"
What is it, Bud?
"You think maybe it's a timing chain?"
Why is that, Bud? .......


"ALL THE PISTONS ARE AT THE TOP!!"


After a few minutes I quit laughing and noticed that those goofy tubes that the plugs sit in on the old slant six had come out with the plugs and pointed out to Bud that he had been tink tink tinking on the head next to the plug hole the whole time.

After a few years I quit laughing and asking if all the pistons were at the top when Bud said something needed a timing chain.